06
Jan

Life Choices.

I have never been good at making decisions. Ever. At least, it feels that way to me. Education, relationships (until now!), and just general everyday choices- I always second guess myself. In all honesty, it probably hasn’t been that bad. I could’ve done a lot of worse for myself, I am sure.

I moved to Kentucky from Florida in late 2006- most of you are aware of that if you’ve been reading my blog very long. That was a good decision- at that time. I chose to go to the community college here, trying to put my bouts of “totally capable of handling everything” followed by my “totally incapable of functioning”, behind me. I WAS going to go to school here and succeed. Obviously, I had that thought during my months of “totally capable-ness”. A few months later, I was already giving up on myself- not because I was doing badly in the classes, because I wasn’t. I just quit going- depression, anxiety, and the fear of failing when I wasn’t even anywhere near failure. I was right back where I’d been in high school, except this time I didn’t have my heart condition excuse to fall back on (because no one cares about your pitty party when you’re in college), and I’d thrown away thousands of dollars on not finishing a single class. (I am still paying for it.)

And this is how I make my decisions. I know myself. I change my mind. I go from, “I GOT THIS! I’m totally on top of it!” to.. “I can’t believe I CHOSE THIS, I can’t do this, someone SAVE ME!” in 2 seconds flat. I go from knowing exactly what/where I want to go, to complete hopelessness. This is what I’m dealing with while I try to figure out where I want to go from here in my life. Nate and I have been discussing a lot of life changing possibilities lately and I just really can’t handle the thought of another decision made like the one I made to go to school. We are going to need to base all of our decisions on this ONE thing, and it’s really all on me and what I want. I’m terrified of my mood changes and the way it alters what I want … I moved here, no problem. I just UP AND DID IT. And luckily it all worked out. I’m trying to do this carefully.. working out all of the details.. but my lists of pros & cons never win out one over the other.

I’m stuck- a place I’ve spent my whole life, in one way or another.

05
Jan

Short Update (because I’ve been MIA)

So, hello strangers. I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. I can’t believe I haven’t posted since BEFORE my trip home to Florida for Christmas! How in the world did I go that long without blogging?! So I am hoping that everyone had a wonderful Christmas- I know I sure did! Well, minus the whole getting sick thing.. and then giving it to my parents the 3rd day I was in Florida. Oops. My Mom and I spent a lot of time rolling around in sickness on her bed in our PJS while watching The Hallmark Channel’s Christmas movies. But, any time that I’m home in Florida with my Momma is a good time- even when I’m hacking up my lungs. Well, I’m not going to write too, too much about that. The flying thing went well, both ways. The visit went well- just wasn’t long enough, as usual. I really wanted to do this huge, “What I got for Christmas” post.. but I feel like the time for that has passed. People would look at me like, “Christmas? That was so last year..” and they would be right.

So let me just tell you the main present I received from my parents….

Array

Yeah, SERIOUSLY. I didn’t believe it. At all. Nate and I have been having tons of fun playing it. I’m officially an Animal Crossing: City Folk, geek. Please please please leave me your friend code in my comments if you have this game and I will return my information to you! I really need friends! We just bought Mario Kart tonight, as well! So, I would love some friends on there. :) I still can’t believe I have one. My parents reaaally went over board on me this year- I love them.

Anywho- my New Years was pretty great. I hope you all had a fabulous New Years Eve & New Years Day. Ashley had a nice get together at her house and all the usual people were there to celebrate.. and celebrate we DID. ;) Fun, fun times.

Well, I don’t have a whole lot to say- mostly just a mess of thoughts something like, “OH did I tell them THIS? WAIT NO… oh yeah!” and I don’t really have time tonight to write a ridiculously long post. My thought patterns are everywhere, so it wouldn’t make sense anyway. So, I think I am going to get into bed (in my new Micro plush sheets!) and watch the first season of Gilmore Girls with Nate- one of my amazing Christmas presents from him!

OH AND, The Sims 2 has stolen my brain again, everyone. I have become obsessed. Just thought I’d throw that out there. I will leave you with a video taken on New Years…. goodnight!

Please enable Javascript and Flash to view this Viddler video.

21
Dec

Settling, Early Christmas, & Packing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t have time to create the layout I genuinely want- maybe I never will. Maybe I will just be stuck with the simple little tweekings that I do to premades. Oh well! Not overly worried about it right this second. I’d rather be able to say that I have a life, rather than the most elaborately created wordpress layout of all time. ;) I used to spend so many hours coding/editing/creating. I also used to be an insomniac. OH AND- just so you know- I added a viddler widget to the side bar. *points to the right* I’m going to start uploading more videos. I’m not sure if there’s really anyone out there who’s that excited to see little clips of the madness that is my daily life but- you’re all going to get the option whether you like it or not.

This weekend has been everything that I think that a weekend should be, or well, mostly. Some weekends are good for laziness, cuddling, face-stuffing, and the lack of anything to do. But I also feel that there should be weekends of non-stop fun and excitement filled with friends, family, and memories- and that is what this weekend has been. So guess what? Yep, I am going to tell you all about it- brace yourselves.

Friday was perfect. I got off work early in the afternoon. There was a little bit of relaxing, a trip to Hobby Lobby with Nate’s Mom for more wrapping paper- “Which one to get?” “I don’t know, they’re *all* pretty!” “You pick!”, a trip to Wal-Mart for a gift or two after 20 minutes of walking the wrapping paper isle in Hobby Lobby, and back home for dinner. Nate and I got ready and went to Joseph Beth later in the evening for our last bit of shopping. I even bought for myself. You aren’t surprised. FYI: I bought a book, which hasn’t happened in ages. It’s called, The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I am trying to start reading again. I used to love it so much, but finding the time is hard. I decided that it would be better to buy a good book than to buy 3 or 4 overly priced magazines in the airports on Tuesday. After we left Joseph Beth we ran into Best Buy to return a bundled game that came with Nate’s NEW Xbox 360. It had a huge hole in the case, straight through to the games. It was a big difficult process because they had to take the game out of another Xbox360 bundle and there was just a lot of drama between the employees- oops! Not our fault! We left there and headed to Ashley’s house.

Most of the normal “gang” was over at Ashley’s- us, Ashley, Nathan, Tabitha, Jason, & Christin. We had a ridiculous amount of fun playing Ashley’s new Wii Fit that she received as an early Christmas present. We would take turns playing the games, brag in someone’s face for having the higher score, and then they would proceed to try and beat it. I’m waiting for someone to walk the tight rope faster than my 34 seconds- I’m WAITING. After that we put in “Lips” on the Xbox 360 and karaoked our hearts out for quite a while. It was pretty hilarious. Christin and I really enjoy singing, so we were like, seriously competing. And Nate beat me on Sheryl Crow’s “Soak Up The Sun” - again! Hahaha. We had teams of two on the microphones for this- read the lyrics and laugh hysterically with me. And in case you need video proof of the awesomeness that is this game:

Please enable Javascript and Flash to view this Viddler video.
And a picture of Jason & I.

Array


We stayed until about 2:30AM. I went to sleep around 3:30AM and was up early for my 10AM eye doctor follow up appointment- PS: my new contacts are insanely expensive.

Noon on Saturday came quickly. I had talked to my Mom for about an hour early that morning. In case I forgot to mention this- we had Christmas on Saturday. “We” being Nate’s immediate family. We ate food, opened gifts, visited, played Call of Duty 4 (Nate’s gift from his Mom!), etc. I was actually a contender in Call of Duty 4- HAH!


Oh Christmas TreeeeeHappy..CARS!!!!!!Bella Opens Her PresentLook at his expression!So many presents, what to open next?!PRESENTS #1PRESENTS #2Aero Fur Hoodie Jacket!Furry Hoodie GoodnessModeling his new outfit..Pose, Baby!Haha, I love this..New Shirt- you like it?Pasty.212/365 122008Gorgeous face.Mwah!More mwahs!It's electric!PEACE.Wha?


Later that night Nate and I used our $20 gift card to OutBack (one of our gifts from his parent’s). It was delicious, but I ended up bringing most of it home. It was just a really great day/night- everything was perfect. And now- I have to start making my packing list for Florida. One more day of work and then it’s off to the warmth of my home town. <3 I just found out that my Dad’s side of the family is having Christmas on the 27th- I can not explain to you how excited I am to be able to see both sides of my family this Christmas. It’s going to be amazing. Not sure when I will blog again- could be Tuesday from the airport- could be sometime next week! But I will be tweeting/plurking my face off and most likely posting videos like I mentioned- so make sure to keep up with me!

18
Dec

A Visit From The Fail Whale.

EDIT: This ugly layout will be here until I find the brain power to create a new one. Stay tuned.
——–
I am SO aware of every reason *why* I originally was not going to upgrade my wordpress. What in the hell. Apparently MY theme, of all themes, hates the new version: see article here. So, I tried to do the recommended fix and screwed everything up further than it already was- as if you could make absolutely not even being able to get to the login page worse? I did though. After I got through “fixing” it, I no longer had a string of error- but a page full of Chinese letters. Chinese letters? What? I know. I have no idea, but I managed to get in through a page I had already had opened earlier, click the “themes” tab, and scroll through the Chinese until I found a different theme to open.

It worked. Thank God. I was so not interested in reinstalling wordpress. Now.. on to creating my own theme. I hate myself for using premades anyway.. even if the code is less perfect when I do it myself.. at least I made it. Kind of like crappy looking cookies.. that still taste good. :) Did anyone else absolutely love greymatter, or was that just me? I hated the interface.. but I found the coding of an actual layout to be so much easier.

18
Dec

Festiveness Leaks From My Pores.

If you’re wondering what I mean- just click the “read more” button. (= If you dare!

Continue reading ‘Festiveness Leaks From My Pores.’

12
Dec

No, I Will Not Obey You WordPress.

How many times must we upgrade WordPress in such a short span of time? I’m feeling a little dramatic.. but it seems like I do this very often. I saw at least 4-5 tweets with complaints about it being *buggy* - so no thanks, I’m going to just let it remind me that “there is a new version available!” every time I log in. *stares blankly* ……..
Continue reading ‘No, I Will Not Obey You WordPress.’





Meet The Girl

Stephanie Lynn. 21. Florida born & raised. Residing in Kentucky. Taken & in ♥ with Nate (4/24/06)- he completes me. BFF= Ashley, my twin personality. Interested in blogging, photography, web-design, fashion, music, social-networking, and product reviews. Ask me to review your stuff and find me all over the internet!

MOBLOG MOBLOG MOBLOG

Flickr ♥

  • Video Log

    Loading
    Loading Viddler Videos

      Powered By Viddler

      Plurkings

      • xosteph shares new blog post: life choices. a href="http://ohmeow.org/?p=430" class="ex_link"ohmeow.org/?p=430/a 3 hours ago
      • xosteph shares new post + video at ohmeow! : a href="http://ohmeow.org/?p=428" class="ex_link"ohmeow.org/?p=428/a 2009/01/05
      • xosteph is nomming on a salad she just put together (lettuce, cucumbers, amp; green olives +ranch!) and kroger buffalo chicken. MMMM. 2009/01/05
      • xosteph is happy that Nate found mario kart for our Wii!!! Yay! 2009/01/05

      Site Stats

      • Visitors Online: 0
      • Visits Today: 1
      • Total Visits: 6543